When I spoke up at RZIM, I didn't know what it would cost.

The journey has been far more painful than I could have imagined. But it has also brought hope and strength in ways I didn't expect.

Here are some snapshots of the journey so far:

1. Enduring retaliation and bullying from leaders and peers at work

2. Resigning from my job after it became toxic

3. Hiring a lawyer to avoid signing an NDA for severance

4. Reducing our household living expenses

5. Losing nearly all of my friends from work

6. Watching my friends and mentors endorse the people who mistreated me

7. Noticing they're silent about me and my story

8. Struggling to figure out what to do with my life

9. Sleepless nights

10. Inability to focus at work

11. Experiencing character assassination

12. Finding doors of opportunity are closed for inexplicable reasons

13. Paying for counseling

14. Traumatic flashbacks

15. Feeling emotionally numb, even with family and friends or on vacation

16. Receiving unsolicited, unhelpful advice - some of it from the Bible

17. Struggling to trust other leaders

18. Days of uncompensated work to organize my notes and records as I participated in investigations

19. Dozens of phone calls and emails to explain my story again, and again, and again

20. Learning who my true friends are

21. Making new and better friendships

22. Giving hope to those who've endured abuse

23. Knowing I told the truth

24. Honoring God

If you've been through a similar experience, I'm curious about what you'd add to the list.

If you haven't experienced this, I hope this helps you understand what it can be like.

I originally shared this on Twitter. In the replies, you can glean wisdom from other whistleblowers and survivors:

The Uncommon Pursuit community is here for you.

It’s a relational environment to be transformed for God’s mission.

If you’d like to participate, you can discuss this essay with us.