Misunderstanding The Golden Rule

When I lived in Memphis, the risk of getting on the wrong highway could be high: I'd accidentally cross the Mississippi River and go to Arkansas!

I don't know how common that problem is, but it happened to me more than once. 

It didn't matter how much gas I had in the car, if the tires were inflated correctly, or what music I played. If I drove in the wrong direction, I'd end up in a different state. 

In the same way, we can prayerfully seek God's will and try our very best. However, if we're applying the Golden Rule in the wrong direction, we still end up in an unwanted destination. 

In the previous essay, we saw that Jesus authoritatively sums up all the Law and the Prophets in fifteen words:

Therefore, whatever you want others to do for you, do also the same for them, for this is the Law and the Prophets (Matthew 7:12, CSB). 

However, the Golden Rule often gets misunderstood and, therefore, misapplied. 

Intuitive Eating

I recently watched a YouTube video that explained the concept of "intuitive eating."

 The speaker said that intuitive eating is what he recommends for a healthy diet. The basic idea is, "Eat what you want, when you want, until you're full."

But there was a twist. 

He said if your idea of "eat what you want" is burgers and ice cream, then intuitive eating won't work!

Here's the principle: intuitive eating only works if you first understand nutrition. 

But if you understand nutrition, intuitive eating is a convenient way to live. Compared to weighing all your food or counting calories, you can sign me up for the easier approach. 

The speaker summarized all of nutrition with a simple command: Eat intuitively. 

But at the same time, his audience needed to understand the fundamentals of nutrition to implement his wisdom.

One of the most common ways intuitive eating is misunderstood is by seeing it as a replacement for needing any other nutritional information. 

Then people wonder why they aren't getting healthier, even though they eat whatever they want, whenever they want to!

Back to The Golden Rule

Similarly, The Golden Rule has been removed from its context and turned into a secular aphorism. 

You can find it as an inspirational quote on Instagram, engraved on a statue, or quoted in a book. 

But the principle "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" requires us to develop wisdom about how we want people to treat us. 

Think about it with me. To apply the Golden Rule, we must first decide how we want people to treat us. 

Please Give Me Dark Chocolate

For instance, I would like to have people anticipate my need for delicious dark chocolate.

In my dreams, wherever I go - a shopping center, a grocery store, church, or the gym - people would say, "Hey Carson, would you like some dark chocolate? I have some for you."

Then they would give me some dark chocolate, we would enjoy it together, and become best friends. 

Because that's what I would like people to do for me, then what does the Golden Rule mean?

I need to buy even more dark chocolate, start carrying it around, and offer a few squares to anyone I meet.

Then, I will be doing for others what I would have them do to me. 

Hopefully, this ridiculous example helps us to see the absurdity of taking The Golden Rule out of context. 

But we must understand why this is absurd:

It's because at no point did The Golden Rule challenge my selfishness.

What happens if we don't address our fundamental selfishness? 

Ironically, the Golden Rule becomes an ethical requirement to help each other do whatever we want! And that's the opposite of what Jesus is inviting us into!

"Serve me by letting me serve you."

But selfishness is not the only barrier to applying the Golden Rule. 

In college, some of my friends wanted to outdo one another in serving each other.

For instance, after dinner, everyone would rush to take the other people's plates to the sink and wash them. But no one wanted to be left sitting at the table enjoying the conversation. 

So sometimes, instead of enjoying the food, people were plotting how to finish their meal first to get the honor of serving everyone else. 

It got to the point where the group developed a new saying: "Serve me by letting me serve you." 

This became the ultimate stopping point.

With reluctance, you'd sit down and allow the other person to take your plate to the kitchen. You'd been served - but in a twist, you served the other person by giving them the privilege of helping you. 

In a community of active Christians, it's appropriate that we want to serve one another.

But as eager as we were to practice The Golden Rule, sometimes it meant we lost the primary focus of loving each other and enjoying our time together. 

Practicing the Golden Rule requires more than a commitment to righteousness.

We also need wisdom, maturity, and discernment. 

Context Matters

It's essential to notice that the Golden Rule comes at the end of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount - not at the start - and not as a standalone maxim. 

So, the Golden Rule is for people who hunger and thirst for righteousness.

It's for a community of disciples called to be the light of the world.

It's for people who depend upon God for the wisdom and strength to love their enemies. 

If God is forming us to be loving, holy, and good, then we can see how The Golden Rule summarizes all the other commandments.

But if we are practicing "intuitive ethics" without any awareness of our natural inclination towards selfishness or immaturity, then the Golden Rule won't help us at all.

In fact, it might take us in a completely wrong direction. 

(There's one more common way The Golden Rule gets misused - that's the subject of next week's essay).

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How Have You Seen The Golden Rule Misapplied?