How to run a con

In light of my experience with Ravi Zacharias, I’ve become intrigued by con men.* While he’s an extreme example, I’ve found lessons relevant to all of us.

As one acquaintance explained to me, the origin of “con man” is a confidence man. It’s someone who gains your confidence so they can take advantage of you. And successful con men build elaborate operations. To make their deception work, they must make careful plans for how to repeatedly execute their ‘play.’

In his article “On Cooling the Mark Out,” the sociologist Erving Goffman explained how con men mitigate the risk of bad publicity:

Sometimes, however, a mark is not quite prepared to accept his loss as a gain in experience and to say and do nothing about his venture… In order to avoid this adverse publicity, an additional phase is sometimes added at the end of the play. It is called cooling the mark out.

After the blowoff has occurred, one of the operators stays with the mark and makes an effort to keep the anger of the mark within manageable and sensible proportions. The operator stays behind his teammates in the capacity of what might be called a cooler and exercises upon the mark the art of consolation. An attempt is made to define the situation for the mark in a way that makes it easy for him to accept the inevitable and quietly go home. The mark is given instruction in the philosophy of taking a loss.

In his article, Goffman extends “cooling the mark” into a metaphor for how we all work to maintain and restore ‘peace’ in our social relations. Whether it is helping someone come to terms with poor service at a business or losing their job, Goffman explains how the rules of social etiquette are established to make these disappointments easier to bear. For example, this is one reason NDAs are a favored tool: in exchange for a small payout, very costly information can be swept under the rug.

As we continue in this line of thought, it is critical that we distinguish between the shameless thief, the suffering victim, and those who happen to be nearby. In fact, these are the three kinds of people in Jesus’ famous story about the Good Samaritan.

In reading Goffman’s observations, my own heart was drawn to Jeremiah 6:13-14, where the Lord speaks forcefully and clearly:

For from the least to the greatest of them,

everyone is making profit dishonestly.

From prophet to priest,

everyone deals falsely.

They have treated my people’s brokenness superficially,

claiming, “Peace, peace,”

when there is no peace.

In other words, wherever there is brokenness in society, one way to smooth things over is religion. Compassionate spiritual leaders are brought in to empathize, acknowledge the pain, and calm everyone down. “Peace, peace” they claim.

But the prophet Jeremiah exposes the lie. If pastors treat people’s brokenness superficially and call for peace when there is no peace, we become part of the con. Instead of representing the Lord, we rationalize that our job is to cool the mark out. Instead of resolving the situation that causes the pain, we try to help the suffering adjust to the injustice as an acceptable outcome.

Social lubrication might be a temporary fix, but read the rest of God’s word in Jeremiah 6. Is this a wise strategy? No, it is a looming disaster.

So why would spiritual leaders do this? Perhaps you can provide a better answer than me. There are a few reasons I can see, and they all revolve around self-protection.

First, speaking the truth causes a confrontation. It will upset the powerful and the protected who gave us the platform.

Second, it creates a cost. We’ll lose friends, finances, and favors.

Third, it connects us to the crushed. And very few are eager to identify with the poor and the oppressed.

But as Jesus plainly says in Matthew 25, it is when we are with the hungry, the naked, and the prisoner that we are also connected to Christ…

Remember how terrified Moses felt to deliver God’s message to Pharaoh? The Lord sees the suffering of his people and has a plan to deliver them (Exodus 3:7-10). But Moses repeatedly resists, even after the Lord turns his staff into a snake and back into a staff (Exodus 3:11-4:17).

God says: I’ve come down to rescue them! And yet, despite personally experiencing astounding miracles, Moses is like: God, you go for it, but I want to stay here.

It’s an existential question we all have to address. Do I want to join the Lord in his rescue mission? Or would I prefer to stay by myself in a comfortable place?

The same challenge faces God’s people today. Do you want to:

…celebrate holiness and rebuke evil?

…stand with survivors of sexual abuse?

…advocate for the lives of the unborn?

…oppose racism in society and the church?

…challenge the exploitation of God’s creation?

…confront sexism and lift up women?

…contest greed and walk with the poor?

…expose the power-hungry and model servanthood?

Isn’t it easier to avert my eyes and keep walking down the road?**

I know this is a challenging message. So let’s end on a note of encouragement: the prophetic alternative is also the path to revival.

For instance, we see this in 1 Thessalonians, where Paul encourages a small church enduring severe persecution. Read along with me:

We always thank God for all of you, making mention of you constantly in our prayers. We recall, in the presence of our God and Father, your work produced by faith, your labor motivated by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

For we know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel did not come to you in word only, but also in power, in the Holy Spirit, and with full assurance. You know how we lived among you for your benefit, and you yourselves became imitators of us and of the Lord when, in spite of severe persecution, you welcomed the message with joy from the Holy Spirit.

As a result, you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. For the word of the Lord rang out from you, not only in Macedonia and Achaia, but in every place that your faith in God has gone out. Therefore, we don’t need to say anything, for they themselves report what kind of reception we had from you: how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.

As God’s specially selected and dearly beloved children, may we imitate their faith in God!

As always, thanks for reading.

Carson

* I understand that some still see Ravi as a good man who succumbed to temptation. To understate the matter, at least a few of his survivors find that explanation painfully naive.

** To head off one potential kind of misunderstanding: I’m not saying we must add “full-time activist” into our weekly routines. Nor am I saying we should be so busy opposing injustice we never go to work, rest, or celebrate a birthday.