A Most Uncomfortable Podcast

As our family drove home from RZIM's annual Christmas dinner, I felt completely satisfied, and not just because the prime rib station had been fantastic.

I kept replaying the conversation that Ravi had with my two kids. He'd talked to them with respect, answered some of their questions, and made them feel like a million bucks. Then, as he ad-libbed some remarks at dinner, he had specifically named one of my kids and generously affirmed the potential he saw in them.

It had been a special evening to celebrate our ministry's work, see each other's families, and enjoy the Christmas season.

Unfortunately, it was also one of the first memories that came to mind when I started to believe that Ravi had sexually assaulted numerous women. How had I introduced my daughter to him and encouraged her to see him as a role model?

As I remembered these moments from a new perspective, my stomach turned, and it made me feel sick.

Revisiting my time at RZIM is an uncomfortable experience.

So, when Leah Denton, the host of the Psychotherapy podcast, reached out, I was reluctant to share my story with her. I didn't know that I wanted to review my journals, enter back into the pain, and walk through the gory details again.

But I soon realized that she is an exceptional listener—patient, empathetic, curious, and kind.

And I realized that I wanted to give hope to anyone who is confused, hurting, angry, or messed up by the church.

There's one other really important note about this podcast....

When I was driving home from that Christmas dinner, I thought I worked for one of the best Christian ministries in the world.

So, if you had told me that I might want to understand how spiritual abuse worked, I probably would have laughed.

I know that's inappropriate, but the topic seemed so irrelevant to my life.

I already had a busy schedule—marriage, parenting, work, church, exercise, chores, and so on. Why learn about a niche topic like spiritual abuse?

I ask for your grace in hearing this, but I want to risk sharing something that might be offensive.

Ignoring spiritual abuse because I don't think I'll experience it is somewhat like thinking I don't need to learn about racism, sexism, or xenophobia because I'm a white American man.

Who voluntarily enters into the pain of other people? Don't we have enough burdens already?

Plus, these topics can be polarizing, draining, and uncomfortable. If we're looking for comfort, there are many alternatives.

But the way of Jesus is about loving God and our neighbors.

If we're going to love our neighbors, then at a minimum, we need to understand their struggles.

That said... no pressure to listen in. I know we all have busy schedules!

If you'd like, you can listen to the conversation on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

---

Original photo by CJ on Unsplash (I’ve cropped it)