Are You Afraid of God?

Have you ever felt afraid of what God might ask you to do? 

In December 2020, I was at the Urbana Missions Conference with over 20,000 college students. 

I wanted God to give me clarity about my future.

Did he want me to be a missionary? A lawyer? An academic? 

I wasn’t sure. 

In a sense, I did want God’s guidance. But I also felt afraid of what he might ask me to do. 

After all, when God guided his people throughout the Bible, sometimes he gave them extremely difficult commands. 

For instance, God had told Jonah to go to Nineveh. 

So perhaps God would ask me to go to North Korea.

To be clear, I did not want to go to North Korea. 

More centrally, Jesus had gone to the cross. 

So, if God asked me to take up my cross, how could I say no?

I felt caught in the tension as I sought God’s will at the Urbana Conference. Of course, I wanted to do whatever God asked.

But I was equally afraid that God wanted me to move to a rural community covered in frozen tundra, where I would struggle to speak a complex language, eat unpleasant foods, and rarely, if ever, get to see my family. 

In Matthew 7:7-11, Jesus addresses our fear of God’s will for our lives.

He asks two simple questions:

If your son asks for bread, will you give him a rock?

If he wants a fish, will you give him a snake?

Of course, there are abusive fathers (and mothers) who find a depraved pleasure in harming their children. 

But is that what God is like?

In this passage, Jesus is asking rhetorical questions. These are easy questions with obvious answers: “No, I would never mistreat my kids! I love them!” 

Jesus then argues “a fortiori” - from the lesser to the greater. He says,

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him. 

Every human parent is sinful, limited, and inconsistent in their love for their children. Yet, we still seek to generously provide everything our children need to flourish. 

If that’s true of us, then what should we expect of our heavenly Father?

And when Jesus tells us what our heavenly Father is like, he knows the truth. As he says in John 10:30, “I and the Father are one.”

We won’t experience spiritual growth if we fear what God wants us to do. 

And we won’t overcome this problem unless we get honest - with ourselves, God, and trusted friends - about why we’re afraid that God will give us a rock when we ask for bread. 

Perhaps it feels unspiritual to say to God - “I don’t trust you. It seems you want me to suffer and struggle.” 

But God invites us to say this to him.

For instance, the entire book of Job testifies that God doesn’t run away from us when we cry out to him in pain. Instead, God shows up to reveal his love and care for his faithful servant. 

Perhaps we don’t feel safe telling our Christian friends that we question God’s goodness.

Aren’t we supposed to be happy and full of faith? 

But what kind of friendships do we have if we’re faking it with each other?

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 gives us a healthier model for friendship. We read, “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.” 

Loving people don’t judge their friends for struggling; they show up and help. 

Perhaps we’re even afraid of admitting this truth to ourselves. Would our faith crumble if we acknowledged - even in our hearts - that we think God doesn’t care? 

After Jesus’ crucifixion, the apostle Thomas felt sure that Jesus had abandoned him. He was unconvinced even with all his friends assuring him that they had seen the risen Jesus.

He reasonably said, “If I don’t see the mark of the nails in his hands, put my finger into the mark of the nails, and put my hand into his side, I will never believe” (John 20:25).

Did God strike him with a lightning bolt?

Jesus invited him to touch his hands and side - to see for himself. 

Over and over again, the Bible presents the excruciating pain of life - and the invitation of God to experience his care in our struggles.

Three years after the Urbana conference, I still felt called by God to join InterVarsity as a campus staff member. While my friends got jobs, I called everyone I knew to ask for support. While my classmates rented nice apartments, I lived at home. While others took fancy vacations, I set a budget for an annual salary of $24,000. 

Following God’s will brought unexpected challenges. Yet I would do it again. The privilege of serving university students and empowering them to live life with God was worth it. At the start, it was easy to see the sacrifice. In retrospect, it is easy to see the reward.

Are you afraid of God? I hope you feel encouraged to admit that - to yourself, your friends, and God.

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