The Golden Hammer: Using The Golden Rule As A Weapon

At Ravi Zacharias International Ministries, two of the organizational values were “unity” and “loyalty.”

While these are legitimate organizational values, I learned the hard way that unethical leaders can wield them as tools to silence dissent and maintain control.

As The Guidepost Report into RZIM found,

Ultimately, we believe that RZIM’s leadership and cultural weaknesses stem from the devotion and loyalty to Zacharias shown by the ministry’s leaders, directors, employees, and followers…Regrettably, this blind affection led to individual and organizational blindness about the negative qualities of Zacharias’s character and his harmful actions, which impacted the underlying credibility of RZIM as a whole”(RAVI ZACHARIAS INTERNATIONAL MINISTRY GUIDEPOST SOLUTIONS ASSESSMENT, 2-3).

After resigning from RZIM in January of 2021, one of the greatest challenges that I faced was sorting through how good values and “Biblical” teaching had been used to manipulate my understanding of reality, hide sexual abuse, and conceal financial corruption.

As Dr. Diane Langberg notes,

A pastor with a theological degree and knowledge of Scripture can lift words out of those Scriptures, pronounce them with authority, and wound those under their care. An ability to articulate theological truths does not mean the speaker is an obedient servant of God” (Redeeming Power, 127).

The implication? When discussing The Golden Rule, we also need to discuss its abuse: what I call “The Golden Hammer.”

What’s the Golden Hammer?

Here’s my definition: using the Golden Rule to manipulate someone into cooperating with abuse.

So before we internalize The Golden Rule, we need to gain wisdom.  

The reason? Once we are conditioned to do for others as we would have them do to us, we become vulnerable targets for abusers.

When predators see someone prepared to humbly serve others, they spot an opportunity to take advantage.

From the abuser’s point of view, it’s risky to directly assault someone (though this happens all too often).

Therefore, shrewd abusers will sometimes conceal their harmful intent by cloaking their actions in virtuous – even Biblical – language.

As Jesus said – immediately after teaching us The Golden Rule – we must be on guard against wolves in sheep’s clothing (Matthew 7:15).

So, internalizing The Golden Rule requires that we think through the implications.

The Golden Rule does not mean that we enable selfishness or abuse.

Actually, it’s the complete opposite.

Because as we practice The Golden Rule, we realize the joy of growing in holy love.

Therefore, we increasingly and genuinely want everyone we know to experience the fulfillment of imitating Christ.

So when someone attempts to take advantage of our commitment to service, we want to recognize what they are doing as best we can.

Here are some questions you and your community can ask together:

1. Does this request align with Jesus’ vision for our well-being?

2. Are they asking me to do something that harms me or others?

3. Is someone in a position of authority or power pressuring me to comply with their demands?

4. Does this request feel wrong to my conscience? Does it provoke guilt, shame, or discomfort?

5. What do trusted and wise advisors recommend?

6. By going along with this, am I being isolated from my community?

7. Does it feel safe to say no?

8. Do I anticipate an openness to me asking questions about their request?

9. Is there a false sense of urgency to comply?

10. Will this action enable both of us to grow in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)?

Unfortunately, sometimes we will be deceived — it’s an inevitable vulnerability of the human condition.

However, assuming that we recognize that someone wants to manipulate our commitment to Christ for their own benefit, it’s critical that we ask God for wisdom, creativity, and discernment before we respond. Our challenge will be to find a way that avoids taking revenge, yet protects ourselves from validating their request.

For instance, the non-violent protests of the Civil Rights Movement are a brilliant example of how to navigate this tension.

On the one hand, as the demonstrators sat at segregated lunch counters, they exposed the illegitimacy of Jim Crow. On the other, when attacked, they refused to retaliate.

In doing so, they provoked the conscience of bystanders and awakened a moral revolution.  

The Golden Rule summarizes God’s heart for us because we thrive when we build communities that habitually practice the Golden Rule. However, if we only grow in holiness but lack wisdom, we become increasingly vulnerable.

We must pair our spiritual formation with an active dependence upon God, so that he can guide us in treacherous circumstances.

We need the discernment of trusted allies, as we gently look out for another’s well-being.

We anchor ourselves to the ongoing study of Scripture so that we continually refine our moral compass.

We deepen trust with those who are trustworthy – while remaining vigilant to identify those who only pretend to be safe.   

In the end, truth and love form an inseparable pair.

May God empower us to build communities that practice The Golden Rule and vigilantly avoid The Golden H­ammer.

---

How have you seen The Golden Rule twisted into the Golden Hammer?

Share your thoughts with the Uncommon Pursuit Community: