Gratitude As Spiritual Warfare
She sat in the back row of chairs in the sanctuary, weeping. Her friend tried to cheer her up, “I know it’s hard to lose a child, but remember that God has a purpose in all of this.” Suddenly, her tears stopped, and she felt cold, and more isolated than ever before. “Thanks, I appreciate that,” she said, just to end the conversation and escape to her car.
It’s a story as old as Job and as new as last Sunday, the pressure to give thanks when we’re in the middle of overwhelming suffering.
The secular alternative is called toxic positivity.
But whether we’re throwing out Bible verses or sharing self-help memes, forced gratitude is one way we avoid dealing with the trauma of our broken world. We deny our pain, make gratitude a performance, and shame those who can’t keep it together.
The counter-trend is equally dispiriting. Stoic indifference may help us put up barriers to make it through but at the cost of abandoning hope. It saves our lives by amputating our emotions. Though it tries to overcome the pain, it’s ultimately a surrender to hopelessness.
The Bible offers a radical alternative that rejects both performative positivity and wallowing in despair.
The difference? A personal relationship with a God of infinite love, our Creator, Sustainer, Savior, and ultimate Redeemer.
For instance, in Psalm 13, David takes full advantage of his access to God. He cries out in bitterness: How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? He tells God he lives in agony every day. He goes so far as to raise the possibility of his life being over.
In nearly the same breath, he also confesses to God: I have trusted in your faithful love, my heart will rejoice in your deliverance.
Rolf Jacobson notes, “The situation of crisis still remains, but in his heart, the psalmist has come to believe that his prayer has been heard by God. And the simple conviction that God has heard the prayer leads the psalmist to change his lament to a song of praise” (NICOT).
This is the first secret of biblical gratitude: it begins not with our feelings or circumstances but with the reality of God.
What connects our perspective to God’s reality? It’s radically honest prayer. In doing so, we don’t trust gratitude itself—we trust the God who cares about everything in our lives.
Because we trust God, gratitude takes on a new quality—the simple melody of our faith becomes a beautiful harmony when joined with God’s faithfulness:
Our gratitude is relational, not mechanical. It’s a response to God’s love, not a duty or formula. It’s grounded in our relationship with Him, not in trying to feel thankful for every situation.
Our gratitude is co-existent with grief. Because God holds our pain and promises to redeem it, our gratitude can live alongside grief. We can be grateful that we can trust him with our honesty about the pain.
Our gratitude is substantive. Rooted in God’s faithfulness, our gratitude isn’t shallow or forced. It’s a deep assurance that even in the darkest moments, God will eventually make all things right.
This kind of gratitude flows not from circumstances but from experiencing that God is with us.
What could this look like for you?
I’m not here to give you three simple steps to a life of gratitude. But I do want to encourage you to do more than passively consume this article because cultivating gratitude is spiritual warfare.
Go Deep with God
Find a quiet place today.
Read Psalm 13 slowly and meditatively. Write an honest prayer in your journal - whatever you're feeling, including grief and gratitude if they're both present. God can handle it.
Go Deep with Others
When have well-meaning words about gratitude hurt more than helped?
How has gratitude rescued you from despair?
Go Deep in Service
Who do you know who’s overwhelmed by difficult circumstances?
What’s one practical way you could help them carry their burdens?
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