Why doesn't God answer our prayers?

Nov 9

On more than one occasion, Jesus appears to promise that God will answer our prayers if we have faith.

But I prayed in faith for God to heal Nabeel Qureshi of cancer, as did many thousands of people around the world, and sadly, it didn't happen. I've asked God to end wars that continue to go on today. I've asked God to bring someone to faith; they seem uninterested in the gospel as ever.

Why doesn't God want to heal our bodies, end wars, and bring people to faith in Christ?

I feel that I've prayed these prayers with a sincere trust in God. I'm not asking for a private plane, luxury cars, or a mansion. All of these requests seem to be the kind of prayers that Jesus would want me to pray!

But still, God is silent. It raises the question: is God there? If he is, does he care?

It's painful to see someone you love die early because of cancer when God could have healed him.

The tension is amplified by the promises that Jesus makes to his disciples.

For instance, we read in Mark 11:22-25:

Jesus replied to them, “Have faith in God. Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.
Therefore I tell you, everything you pray and ask for—believe that you have received it and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you your wrongdoing.”

In Luke 11:9-13 Jesus promises:

“So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”

In Matthew 18:18-20 there's another angle:

Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will have been loosed in heaven. Again, truly I tell you, if two of you on earth agree about any matter that you pray for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there among them.”

Summarizing Jesus’ Promises

Here’s my initial takeaway from these verses:

God will be more generous to us than our earthly fathers. If we have forgiven others and are praying in faith, in agreement with other believers in the name of Jesus, then God will be with us and do what we ask.

Interpretive Options:

So, how do we interpret these promises? Here are the major options:

Option 1: Reject God. Because God doesn't answer prayer, that's proof he doesn't exist.

Option 2: Blame God. Maybe God is there, but we can't count on him.

Option 3: Blame ourselves. We can trust God, but it's our fault. We lack faith, are unforgiving, or do not genuinely agree with other believers.

Option 4: Get curious. Maybe we need to ask more questions.

For instance, when Jesus (who is God) asked in Luke 22:42, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me—nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done," did he pray in faith?

Surely, the answer is yes. Nevertheless, the request was denied, and Jesus willingly went to the cross.

(As a side note, it's important to remember that as we read the Gospels, God the Father, God the Son, and God the Spirit are all one God—there is no division or conflict between them.)

Unanswered Prayers Throughout Scripture

Jesus isn’t alone. Unanswered prayer is actually a theme that runs throughout the Bible.

When the Apostle Paul prayed to God, he pleaded with the Lord three times that his thorn in the flesh—a messenger of Satan that tormented him!—would be taken away.

What could be more spiritual than not wanting to be afflicted by Satan? But Paul records God's response: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Or consider Moses. Here's how his life is summed up at the end of Deuteronomy:

No prophet has arisen again in Israel like Moses, whom the LORD knew face to face. He was unparalleled for all the signs and wonders the LORD sent him to do against the land of Egypt—to Pharaoh, to all his officials, and to all his land— and for all the mighty acts of power and terrifying deeds that Moses performed in the sight of all Israel (Deuteronomy 34:10-12, CSB).

Yet, God didn’t answer all of Moses’ prayers!

In Deuteronomy 3:23-26, Moses says,

At that time I begged the LORD: "Lord GOD, you have begun to show your greatness and your strong hand to your servant, for what god is there in heaven or on earth who can perform deeds and mighty acts like yours? Please let me cross over and see the beautiful land on the other side of the Jordan, that good hill country and Lebanon.
“But the LORD was angry with me because of you and would not listen to me. The LORD said to me, ‘That’s enough! Do not speak to me again about this matter'" (CSB).

From Job to the Psalms of lament to the hall of fame of martyred saints in Hebrews 11, we see that God’s saints have often asked in faith for godly outcomes, only to see their requests go unanswered.

If the holiest prophets and leaders of God's people have experienced God not answering some of their prayers, then it makes sense to consider whether we have accurately understood Jesus' promises.

A Bigger Picture for Unanswered Prayers

So, how do we decode this mystery and make sense of this tension?

The best approach is to look at the whole story.

What if God had answered Jesus' prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane? If Jesus didn't die on the cross, that would be a catastrophic failure—the end of his mission, preventing us from being reconciled to God.

What if God had taken away Paul’s suffering? As the author of most of the New Testament and a successful evangelist, perhaps Paul would have succumbed to pride. Then, his ministry could have ended in moral failure, sabotaging the early church's growth.

Or what if God had let Moses lead the people into the Promised Land? By holding Moses accountable, God demonstrated to his people that he doesn’t show favoritism. And by setting an end date for Moses, he cleared the way for Joshua to lead Israel into the land.

What if God had immediately responded to Job? We wouldn't have the drama and wisdom of the Book of Job. The failed explanations of his friends - who all blamed Job for his suffering and unanswered prayers - would not have been so clearly put to shame when God revealed himself to Job more dramatically than almost any other divine encounter in the Scriptures.

I'm not saying it made sense to Moses, Job, or Paul that God didn't answer entirely reasonable prayers. But as we look back on their stories, we can see how unanswered prayer was essential for God to accomplish his purposes. We can see that God welcomed their honest prayers—they are all celebrated as spiritual heroes.

How Should We Pray?

I think Jesus is inviting us to ask God for anything we want.

But as we ask, Jesus invites us to purify our hearts, draw close to other believers, and deepen our trust in God's plan.

A few verses I skipped earlier are actually quite important.

For instance, in Mark 11, Jesus tells us, "And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you your wrongdoing.”

In Luke 11 we read, " If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?”

In Matthew 18, Jesus says, "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there among them.”

It’s easy to overlook this part of Jesus’ teaching. But he emphasizes that while we may not always get our specific requests, the true gift of prayer is a deep relationship with God, forgiveness, and His presence among us.

To experience life with God, now and forever, is a better gift than any change in our circumstances. (That is not to rationalize our suffering or say God approves it!)

Closing Thoughts on Prayer

The Psalms are compelling evidence that we can pray anything to God. I can yell at him, blame him, challenge him, struggle with him, and ask him to defeat my enemies. Or I can worship him, thank him, and remember all he’s done for me! Because God is more loving and generous than any earthly parent, we can trust that it’s safe to be real when we talk to our Creator.

Does God approve of evil? No. Does he permit it for a time? Yes. Will God bring justice? Yes, and he will reward us with an eternity in his loving presence. This is our hope.

As I consider this, it shifts my focus back to how Jesus prayed in the Garden, "Yet not as I will, but as you will" (Matthew 26:39, CSB).

Here are my goals in prayer: to be with God, to remember that God loves me, to be fully present to God, to trust God to take care of me, and to ask God for whatever I want.

But do I know what the best outcome is? No, I don't.

Can I explain all unanswered prayers? Definitely not. When an abused child asks God for protection, I won’t hazard any guess as to why he allows it to continue. Some atrocities are beyond explanation. I know what I would do! But I’m certain that God will bring justice—and that we must wholeheartedly work against injustice and comfort those who suffer.

It’s hard—sometimes to the point of breaking us—to not have our prayers answered. It's frustrating that there's no perfect explanation.

But that's partly because there is no ultimate resolution to our suffering in this life. Whether we talk about prayer, obedience, Bible reading, or church attendance, there's nothing we can do to end the reality of evil in our world within our lifetimes.

What we can do is 'weep with those who weep.' Job’s friends illustrate that blaming people for their suffering displeases God. Instead, we can sit in the pain together, offer support, and share our stories when appropriate.

We can also keep meditating on Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. An unanswered prayer was one of the final experiences Jesus endured before he suffered and died on the cross for us. Even though God said no, he remained faithful to God (because he was God!) and God's mission.

So, how do we pray?

We pray to experience the closeness with God that we already have.

We pray to remember that God loves us so much that he went to the cross for us.

We pray to be cleansed by God and made like Jesus, that we might be faithful to God's mission for our lives.

We pray to remind ourselves that we have a limited perspective and we need to be connected to God and his omniscient wisdom.

Most of all, we pray because we can't live without God. The more we become dependent, vulnerable, and honest with God, the stronger our faith grows - even if we don't get what we ask.

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Photo by Samuel Martins on Unsplash