Listening Like God

At Urbana, a major missions conference organized by InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, I found myself sitting at a breakfast table with two very different people: a mentor I deeply respected and a coworker who had a gift for turning simple stories into epic novels.

From my perspective, we needed to eat quickly and get to the first session, but my fellow campus minister seemed oblivious to my schedule.

Nevertheless, when he finally finished talking, I thought this was a good opportunity to impress my mentor with my pastoral wisdom.

So I leaned in with a compassionate expression and asked a thoughtful follow-up question.

There was just one problem: I didn't care about his answer. All I wanted to do was get up from the table and go to the main worship session.

So within thirty seconds of his rambling response, my eyes glazed over and I checked my watch. Both my mentor and my friend noticed.

My mentor started laughing and said, "Carson, don't ask a question if you don't want to hear the answer."

I was trying to be quick to listen, but I couldn’t listen for very long.

Worse, I wasn't listening to love my brother in Christ, but attempting to impress someone.

We know listening is important. We've been told it matters because we have two ears and one mouth. We might even think we're pretty good listeners.

But there's often a gap between how we engage in conversation and actually hearing what someone else has to say.

Learning To Listen Like God

Last week, we discussed an astonishing truth: God loves to listen to us. All day, every day. The Apostle Paul told us to "Pray continually" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). I often think about how hard this will be, but consider it from God's perspective: he is willing to listen to all of us talk all day long, every single day, for the rest of eternity.

He will never get tired of hearing from us. He will always respond with love.

Whether it was God asking Adam and Eve questions in the Garden, Jesus asking questions throughout his ministry, or the Holy Spirit interceding for us when we can't find words, our Triune God of love is the ultimate listener.

That alone might be a good reason to think that God exists. Who would invent a God who listens to all of us talking all day?

But let's go back to the main emphasis of James 1:19. James tells his audience—which now includes you and me—to be quick to listen.

It's clear what we're obligated to do: be quick to listen.

But unless we understand how to listen well, we'll quickly forget this command.

It's no good to be told, "Dunk a basketball for God's glory" if you can only get a couple inches off the ground. No matter how hard I try to amp you up about shattering the backboard in the name of Jesus, if you can't jump, then what's the point?

To grow as disciples of Jesus, we need to know more than what to do, we need to know how to do it.

But as James and his original audience knew, the Scriptures are filled with wisdom on how to be a good listener. Let's look at some tools God has given to help us become good listeners.

Before we dive in, let me make sure I pass on my most important tip: remember that God is always listening to you.

Whether listening to someone else is boring, frustrating, or joyful, it helps to know that we bring our hearts to God, and be refreshed by his loving care.

When we listen to others, we can start with a prayer to God: God, help me to listen to them and to you.

How God Teaches Us To Listen

1. Curious Listening

As we discussed last week, when God asked Adam, "Where are you?" He wasn't seeking information. He was demonstrating love.

God's questions aren't about filling gaps in His knowledge. They're about drawing us into a relationship with him.

Or reflect with me on Proverbs 20:5. It says, "Counsel in a person’s heart is deep water; but a person of understanding draws it out."

In context, this verse is a warning, reminding us that a deceptive person hides their motivations, and only the wise will discern the hidden harm.

But ponder this wisdom. Sages look beneath the surface because they are curious about what is really going on in a person's heart. That's a default attitude toward people, not something we can 'turn on' after we already know someone is dangerous (because the danger is usually hidden from sight).

Likewise, Proverbs 18:2 tells us, "A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."

First and foremost, that's a helpful way to identify the fools in your life!

But consider what it teaches us about listening. A fool wants to express his own opinion. They are caught up in themselves.

By contrast, a wise person finds pleasure in understanding another person's perspective.

Wise followers of God are genuinely curious about other people. When they ask follow-up questions, they actually want to know more. When someone shares something difficult, they might say, "Tell me more about that" or "What was that like for you?"

They've matured from the need to be the ones talking. They've found joy in putting aside their agendas, need to manage their image, or say something impressive.

Why?

Because they know that listening is a powerful way to love someone and see them flourish.

2. Patient Listening

Have you ever tried to read through the Bible? It’s a rewarding experience, but I confess that I’ve usually skimmed some parts. For instance, the long chapters where Job’s friends go on and on about how Job must be hiding sin from God and them? It’s so boring.

But God listens to all their words and all of Job’s complaints. When the time is right from his perspective, he responds.

This is a theme we see throughout the Scriptures. For instance, it's not like there's one psalm of lament, and that's it.

No, there are dozens. We keep saying the same kinds of things to God and God keeps listening.

We live in a culture that rewards solving problems. Let's fix it and move on to the next thing.

But what about the human soul? Do you want people to fix you or love you?

In the context of trust and care, once we've listened and understood, of course, there's a time and place to offer help or wisdom.

How refreshing would it be to have someone patiently listen to your struggles?

To make it practical: what if you counted to three (silently, please) before responding to what someone said?

In a distracted, fast-paced, busy world, patient listening stands out. It’s a sacrifice to give someone our time and attention. But that’s how they know we love them.

3. Empathetic Listening

I admit there have been times when I've grunted and my wife goes, "Hungry?" She gets me.

In Romans 8:26-27, the Apostle Paul tells us that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

How can the Holy Spirit translate our whimpers into meaningful prayer?

Because he's paid attention to our hearts. He knows how we think and feel.

If we're lucky, a friend actually heard the words we said because they weren't looking at their phone.

But a wise listener takes the words as a starting point. They're paying attention to body language, sensing emotions, drawing connections, and noticing our tone of voice.

Empathetic listening involves hearing with our heads and our hearts. How are they seeing things? How does that feel to them?

This requires us to ask real questions. First, we have to pay attention. Then, we have to take the risk of asking humble and gentle questions about what we're seeing.

Like the wise person of Proverbs, we are seeking to discern the deep wells of another person's heart. It's a sacred task that puts us in need of God.

God Is Listening

What if you took a minute in silence to listen?

• What's going on in your heart?

• What's happening in your life?

• What is God trying to say to you?

Listening is extremely undervalued. At best, we think of it as a skill that a professional might practice, but rarely do we see it as an essential character trait that we need to develop to follow Jesus.

But listening is of the greatest importance.

When we truly listen to another person, we're treating them as someone made in God's image and we're caring for them the way God cares for them.

It's one way we show someone: you matter, and you're worth it.

As you listen to God, who's the one person he's calling you to listen to?

God, thank You that You always listen to us with love. Help us to listen to others the way You listen to us with curiosity, patience, and empathy. In Jesus' name, Amen.

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Credit: Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash