What Is Prayer?

What is prayer?

It seems obvious, but it isn't.

I did some research to see how well-known Christian ministries define prayer. If you do the same, I expect you'll find this basic definition: prayer is talking to or communicating with God. 

I agree, but this way of discussing prayer needs to be clarified. 

Because saying that "prayer is talking to God" can confuse. 

Let's go over this. I ask, "What's prayer?"

You say, "Prayer is talking to God like any other person."

Ok, I got it.

Then you explain, "Except that God is unique, holy, awesome, and invisible."

Ok, wait a second. Slow down.

It's like you told me that basketball involves dribbling and shooting. You even let me hold a basketball. 

Cool, I'm ready to play.

Then you add a twist: in the actual game, the ball is invisible, and I'll be playing against LeBron James. Also, LeBron will be wearing an invisibility cloak.

The basketball concept is still there, but playing the game has become slightly more challenging. 

Second, this definition places all the initiative on me. Let's say I want to pray.

Ok, I guess I should say something to God. I hope he's listening. And not feeling judgmental today. And man, I hope this will do something, somehow. But maybe I should stop praying and focus on taking action. That seems more practical.

Will God actually get me a parking spot because I asked him to help? And if he does, then a heathen doesn't get one? Why did God get me that parking space but didn’t heal my friend of cancer, even though millions of people worldwide asked God to heal him?

I appreciate the simplicity: prayer is talking with God. 

But it raises so many complicated questions. 

I get "talking," but what is "talking to God"?

And if we're discussing the Almighty God, why is he waiting for me to pray?

Doesn't he already know what I need? Why do I have to jump through the hoop of asking him nicely? How does thinking, “God, you’re awesome!” help?

A Different Definition

So I want to suggest a different definition. Here's how I've come to understand prayer:

Prayer is experiencing the presence of God.

For starters, this approach assumes that God is already with us. 

After all, Jesus promised, "I am with you always, to the very end of the age." 

And Paul prayed, in Ephesians 3:16-19,

I pray that the Father may grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with power in your inner being through his Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. I pray that you, being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God's love, and to know Christ's love that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

In other words, Paul is asking God that his brothers and sisters in Christ might have faith to experience that they are already rooted and established in the love of the Triune God. 

God’s Nearness

When we say, "Prayer is experiencing the presence of God," we recognize God's nearness.

The Father loves you. Jesus dwells in our hearts. The Spirit strengthens our inner being. All this, of course, is not the work of three gods but one Trinitarian God. But notice the repeated emphasis: God is acting to demonstrate his loving presence in our lives and within the church. 

It’s not about us talking. It’s recognizing that God has made his home in our hearts.

By Faith

Second, this definition clarifies how we pray: by faith.

If prayer is experiencing God's presence, it means we are trusting that God is already with us. It is an expression of our conviction that God loves us.

That is, prayer is an act of awareness. It’s not an accomplishment or a tool to get something. 

In this way, prayer is similar to our experience of being conscious. What does it mean to be me? To be an "I"? It's rather strange, as physical creatures, that we have a subjective point of view! Which neurons, exactly, are "me"? 

Yet if we are more than physical creatures, but embodied souls, then the center of our identity is identified. To pray is to be aware not only of my conscious existence but of God's too.

Life with God

Third, this definition of prayer clarifies the benefit of prayer:

To pray - anytime, anywhere - is to enjoy life with God!

I'm not sending a telegram to heaven, hoping to win the spiritual lottery.

It's far better: to pray is to personally recognize that I'm beloved, strengthened, and united to the Triune God of love. 

On Saturday Night Live, Stuart Smalley would look in a mirror and say, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!"

Stuart Smalley’s self-affirmations on Saturday Night Live were sadly comical because he tried to trick himself into confidence.

I hear the skeptical doubt ringing through my head: isn't Christianity just an older, more established way to do self-affirmation? Well, yes, maybe.

Unless Jesus rose from the dead, ascended into heaven, and dwells in our hearts by the power of the Spirit.

If that's true, being increasingly aware of God's presence is a mark of wisdom and health.

So what about the talking?

What happens when you experience life in God’s presence?

I find that I share my heart with God. That is, I communicate with God about how I’m feeling, what I’m thinking, and the decisions I’m trying to make.

I’m meditating on God’s word and asking what it means. I’m asking the Spirit to show me how to apply the Scriptures to the complexity and ambiguity of life.

But here’s the critical difference: I’m not speaking to God. I’m not trying to get his attention. I’m not attempting to use his power for my agenda (most of the time).

It’s much simpler. The conversation takes place in the context of an abiding relationship. I already know that God is with me, and I am with God.

So what is prayer? 

Prayer is experiencing the presence of God.

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Do you still have questions?

I understand.

To experience God’s presence requires practice.

If you want to develop your capacity to experience God's presence, I wrote a daily prayer guide. It will help you experience that God is your Friend.

It's completely free, and you can download it at this link.

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Photo by Jana on Unsplash (I’ve cropped it)